These are stories I wrote as backstories for a novel.
Bridget is Poof’s aunt.
Poof is a nickname - her real name is Adie.
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5 or 6 years old
My feet hit my butt in a pattern, bop on one side, bop on the other. Laying on my stomach to color is supposed to be fun but it’s boring to pick from just ten crayons and color in the lines.
Bridget comes into the room, coffee mug in her hand, sits on the floor next to me, picks up the purple crayon, “I’m done with pretending to be something I’m not. I’m going to quit.”
Mom follows her, sits on the other side of me, selects the black, “Is it really that hard to put on the clothes and do the work?”
They are talking like I’m not there. I don’t want to remind them so I keep kicking my butt, pick up my choices. Three hands coloring on one page - Mom outlining, Bridget making purple grass, and me coloring tree leaves green and blue.
“If it was just the clothes and doing the work, that’s fine. These people want to talk, they act like a family with everyone knowing everyone else’s business. I can feel they are getting suspicious of my general, non committal answers. A few times people kept picking at me when I answered - digging for more details. I don’t want to give them anything and they are forcing me.”
“It sounds like it’s not a good fit.”
“No. It’s too hard to keep hiding who I am.”
“What’s hard about hiding?” I ask without meaning to.
“Of course you were listening, Poof. Let me think of how to explain it.” She looks around, puts down her mug and crayon, goes over to the basket with my toys, picks out two and comes back.
“Alright. Here’s a tiger and here’s a bear. You see the pattern of stripes on the tiger? No matter what the tiger does, she can’t change that pattern. She can put dirt on them, she could shave her fur, and no matter what, those stripes would stay the same underneath it all. It’s who she is, she can’t change that. Does that make sense?”
“Yes, everyone is who they are. But what does that have to do with hiding?”
“Imagine if the tiger put on a bear costume. She looks like a bear but underneath, her stripes are still the same underneath. She’s still the same, even if she looks different from the outside. The only thing that’s different is that the tiger is pretending to be something she’s not. It’s uncomfortable and she can’t stay in the costume forever. Tigers can’t change their stripes, even when they put on bear costumes.”
