I sleep in red.
My heart doesn’t slow down.
My breath doesn’t deepen.
My hummingbird heart races.
My brief breath barely expands my belly.
I sleep ready to fight.
I sleep ready to kill.
My body stays alert.
My adrenaline primed in the pump.
I sleep in red
because I live in red.
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Backstory:
Sometimes my brain cooks things I’m not aware of.
It’s like walking into a house and smelling cookies but
You can’t find the kitchen.
I created these pieces because I smelled my brain cookies.
It wasn’t until this morning that I found the theme.
I sleep in red.
It comes from a story from my parents.
A military guy was explaining military readiness during an interview.
- Green - totally not aware.
- Yellow - there is something to be concerned about.
- Orange - danger, ready to kill.
- Red - killing.
The interviewer asked him about his state of readiness
He responded “I sleep in orange.”
I track my body feedback.
My body stress levels stay in the red.
Even when I sleep.
Even when I’m safe.
Even when I think I’m relaxing.
My body is speaking to me.
It’s insisting I get my shit together and dial it down.