Flashes of movement behind me
Thinking someone came in the room behind me.
Waking up in the night to a figure leaning over the side of the bed, nose to nose with me.
Constant anxiety
Give in
Tell it I’ll help on Wednesday at 4pm
If it’ll only give me space until then.
It does.
Wednesday, 4pm
Tool in my earbuds - the album that tunes me in
Within beats, she’s there
Young girl is my sense,
I can’t describe her in detail with words but she’s clear as day next to me
She rushes at me
Face buried in my neck
My arm around her
Crying.
She’s crying so hard.
Soul sapping sadness.
I ask her what she wants.
She shakes her head, she doesn’t know or can’t say.
Holding her, trying to figure out how I can help.
How would I be with my friend who came to me sobbing, but couldn’t say why?
I’d sit next to her and hold her.
That’s what I do.
I keep talking about nothing.
Letting her feel she’s safe, her crying is fine.
Time passes.
A bracelet on a wrist keeps flashing in my mind.
Wooden bracelet, beaded.
Her energy lights up. She wants to go to that bracelet.
I ask her, who gave it to her. Her mother?
She nods.
Does she want to find her mom?
Oh, hell no.
She doesn’t want to go to mom.
I ask, brother?
No.
Sister?
Yes!
We sit there.
If the girl knew where her sister was, she wouldn’t need me.
I don’t know how to find her sister.
But maybe I can find the bracelet.
I search for the bracelet’s energy. Let myself be pulled to it.
Another young girl. Resembles my girl.
She’s standing in a store. I see the floor, shelves, the lighting is a clear clue.
I ask my girl if that’s her sister.
Allow her to look through my eyes.
I’m wide open and trusting I’m safe.
It’s her sister.
A random store, somewhere, is where I need to help my girl get.
I don’t know how to get her there.
I sit and let my mind wander.
Arm around her, holding her still.
I can open a portal.
A circular space opens between us and bracelet girl.
I panic as I see it opening and closing.
How do I keep it open? How can I be sure that when she goes through she won’t be hurt? Is my portal evil and ready to snap down on her?
I use clips. I have hands holding it open. The more I try to lock it open, the more the portal fights me, the more it looks flimsy and evil.
I step back (mentally). I breathe. I ask my guides to help me make sure the portal is safe.
They appear. Hidden by the portal but I know they are there.
She and I hold hands.
I’m not letting her go through alone.
I don’t know what to expect and I won’t put her in danger.
We sit.
Both of us letting the fear ebb, getting up our nerve to step through the portal.
She’s ready.
We go through.
It’s effortless.
I put her hand in bracelet girl’s.
And my girl is happy.
I wait, asking her if she needs me to stay around.
She doesn’t. She’s where she wants to be.
My panic flares
When I realize that I don’t know if I can get back through the portal.
Will I be able to get back to my body?
Worrying for nothing.
It’s effortless going back through.
I close the portal.
The space goes back like nothing ever happened.
I scan my space.
She’s gone.
So is my anxiety.
But I’m swirling what the fuck just happened?
