Faith is a bit of fuckery.
You’re looking at a wall of beady, hungry eyes and sharp fangs,
And Faith is telling you, Nope, no bears here.
We believe Faith more than we believe ourselves.
Faith is believing in the universe’s plan
The way you believe in 11:11 and mercury in retrograde.
Faith is exhausting.
Placing you in a pit where all you can see are the walls around you.
Let me take you down to your pit.
Do you see the layers of rock and dirt in the wall?
Nature took grains of things floating around and slowly pulled them together,
packed them in nice and tight, patted them down, and started again.
Faith requires making mountains, not out of molehills, but of out specks.
Of taking things smaller than the smallest dot and building, little by little,
Your own craggy, boulder strewn, treacherous, no safety gear allowed, mountain to climb.
And yes, that’s only after you climb out of your pit.
Faith says you will be fine.
Faith leaves out that you will be
Enraged
Depressed
Despondent
Directionless
Lost
Alone
Hungry and starving
Exhausted and amp’d
Crushingly hopeful
Looking for a hero
And beating yourself up for not rescuing yourself.
Faith is years of fallow where nothing grows.
Faith is knowing that you can’t see anything growing on the surface,
but underneath the ground is going about its ground business, preparing.
Faith is looking at a dry feathery seed and saying,
One day, in a million years or 10, that seed will be a tree that gives me shade.
Faith is believing in a future that protects.
Faith is believing in a future that is right.
Faith never tells you that you’ll go through hell and doubt and back until you arrive.
Faith tells you that the path of pain is the only way through.
Faith looks for clues, tries to control and manipulate, and changes perceptions.
Faith is believing in magic when you know it’s only fast hands and distractions.
Faith is more than the sum total of its parts, and also less.
Faith is the energy that bleeds off you when you are sleeping.
Waking up with your hips aching,
Your stomach distended, growling and groaning,
Your chest tightening more, as you wait for the daytime nightmares to come.
Faith is the gift everyone receives.
Faith is the gift no one wants.